Not Seeing Much of a Difference Yet :)
On top of that, oh my goodness the exhaustion. I've been tired before, even exhausted here and there, but I have never, ever felt fatigue like I felt the past three months. Getting up in the morning (feeling nauseous) and trying to get motivated to get up and go was nearly impossible. Sitting at my desk all day and staying awake was a struggle. And the minute I got home from work I was in my sweats, on my couch, laying. Just laying. All. Night. Long.
And the most annoying of all pregnancy traits...the constant urge to pee. Maybe it's TMI, but good Lord, are you kidding? I've always heard about this, but until you experience it you can't even imagine. Almost every hour on the hour at work I have to get up and go. And when I have to go, it is with an urgency that I have never experienced before. It just hits me all of the sudden and I have to find a bathroom like NOW. And the very most annoying part of it all is that I have to interrupt my precious, precious sleep to go. For about a month there I was literally getting up three to four times a night, every single night. It's been better the past couple of weeks, but last night I did get up at 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, and then practically ran to the bathroom when I got up at 9:30.
Probably the most annoying thing for the husband to deal with has been the intense mood swings. Some days I am just as happy as can be. I feel elated, like life is so incredibly fabulous that I'm the luckiest girl alive. Fifteen minutes later I might be crying over something I saw on TV, like an X Factor audition or an episode of Grey's Anatomy. And God forbid Arsen say something that I take offense to: I literally didn't realize how mad at another human being I could be. I get mad with an intensity that makes me think if I weren't a rational person I might just stab him with a steak knife. I'm constantly convinced that he's mad at me for something, that he's not being supportive, that he doesn't care that I'm going through this physical torture for HIS baby.
One evening I asked him what was wrong, why he was being so quiet? He had the audacity to respond with something along the lines of "Well, you've been complaining so much I haven't really had a chance to say anything."
The fury that was unleashed from deep within me was literally unlike anything I've experienced. I got up, walked to the kitchen, and immediately came back in, spewing hateful words so quickly that I couldn't even form a thought before they came out. "Are you (censored) kidding me???? Seriously?? I am growing a human being here! If I want to complain about how (censored) awful that makes me feel, I have every right to! You had one job! ONE! And now you get to sit back and relax for 10 months while I am (censored) MISERABLE! If I want to complain, you don't say a WORD. Not a WORD." And I proceeded to storm out of the room, get in the shower, and think of all the ways I wanted to physically harm him, and what I would be saying when I got out. I had a pretty intense lecture prepared. Lucky for him, he was smart enough to get in bed and fall asleep (or fake sleep) before I got out. So I just had to go to bed fuming. And when I woke up, the entire situation was quite hilarious. As it still is.
So now that I am officially in the second trimester, I'm looking forward to the next three months, which I hear will be glorious compared to the last three, and the final three. In the next few weeks I'm hoping that my belly starts to pop out a little, because I'm currently at the stage where it just looks like I've been eating more than usual. My pants are too tight, but not so bad that I need maternity pants, so I'm just really in that in between phase. I'm also hoping that the hormonal outbursts lessen somewhat, but from what I've heard I shouldn't get my hopes up. So maybe say a little prayer for Arsen's sanity if you think of it :)