Puppy Problems

Everyone who has read my blog for any significant amount of time is probably aware of my intense adoration for my pup Addie Jane. She's been my baby girl for over three years and I've already talked about how worried I am about how she'll deal with the baby's arrival. For awhile now I've said that I think she knows something is going on, but the past month or so I can tell she definitely knows something's up.

She's been potty trained since we've had her, but we keep a potty pad out in our room because she isn't great about letting us know when she needs to go out in the middle of the night. So we keep the pad there, and she has rarely ever had an accident. 

Well...that seems to be a thing of the past. She has started peeing on the carpet in our room a lot. Like, a lot a lot. She seriously will get up in the middle of the night and go just a few feet away from the pad. I know she knows it's there, I know she knows better...I just can't fathom what is going on with her. She's so quiet that I hardly ever notice, but there have been a few nights recently that the little clanking sound of her tags will wake me up and I'll see her finishing up her business. It is so beyond frustrating, but since it's so out of character I know something is definitely going on.

Last night it happened again, and I was just so upset because she looked so sad after we got onto her. Like I said, I know she knows better, and she just looked so sad and guilty. So I got up and started Googling to figure out what's going on. Of course my first thought is that she has some horrible medical condition and this is a side effect of that. And that was the first thing that most articles said. But the second thing mentioned was that this is often something that happens when there is a lot of change in a dog's life. Which is what I thought was possibly the case, but when I started reading about it it just made so much sense. It even said as one of the top examples that this often happens when a dog's owner becomes pregnant. 

The one thing all this research didn't tell me was how to fix the problem. Things are changing around here, there's no denying that. There's also no changing it any time soon. I'm pregnant, my mom is staying with us, Arsen has started traveling, she doesn't go to daycare anymore, we've made some changes to the house (new floors upstairs, new landscaping, etc) so we've had workers in and out, we've had a lot of company, we're bringing new baby stuff in all the time...that's A LOT of changes for a little pup to take in. But there's literally nothing I can do to change any of that. 

So basically what I'm doing is asking for advice. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this in the past? And if so, what did you do? I feel so terrible for her and I want to fix it...I just feel like I'm at a loss as to what to do! And it's making me so worried about what will happen when Baby A gets here...which could be any day. Dog and baby mama's, help a girl out!

Just Because It Makes Me Feel

Every once in awhile there's a song that moves me. It can make me feel happy, sad, nostalgic, whatever...but if it gives me that "feeling", I'm hooked.

Music has always been a big thing for me. My mom swears that when she would play rock music before I was born that I would start dancing in her belly. I've always had a deep love for music that makes me feel something. When I was younger and I wasn't allowed to listen to certain bands, like Metallica or Nirvana, I would sneak it. I just couldn't help myself. I would turn my radio down low, sit in a chair right next to my shelf, and put my ear up to the speaker and just listen. If I heard my mom coming I would switch it really fast and act like I was doing something else. So smooth, I'm sure.

So at the moment, this song is doing it for me. I'm not sure what exactly it makes me feel. The lyrics don't have any deep meaning for me, I don't relate to it in any special way. But I adore it. More than anything I think it gives me a sweet, peaceful feeling. So sit back, relax, and I hope you enjoy.

It Will All Be Okay...

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind of emotions for me. I had such a great weekend, and then I feel like I got thrown into a week of insanity and stress. Arsen was out of town for work, which always leaves me a little bummed out, and work was absolutely. freaking. crazy. As usual at this point.

I also have suddenly developed the crazy preggo hormones that I couldn't believe I was so lucky to avoid. Everything makes me feel stressed, sad, overwhelmed, hysterical...I've been so mellow throughout this whole thing that this totally caught me off guard. I feel like I'm hiding it well for the most part, but it is definitely getting tough to keep my poker face on.

Addie and I are both so sad when dad is away...

And then we went in for my check up Thursday. Arsen was out of town, and this was the very first appointment he's missed since we found out I was pregnant. I was super sad about that, and even more so when I realized this would be our last sonogram for this pregnancy. Luckily my mom and his mom came with me, so it was nice to have them there. However, the news that I got wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. Nothing bad, but still...enough to rock my world in a big way.

Baby boy is still measuring big, about a week ahead of where I really am. That fact, combined with my petite frame, has my doctor concerned about me going full term. She said we all need to start hoping and praying that he comes on his own in the next two to three weeks. She said IF I'm still pregnant at 39 weeks, we'll do another sonogram. And if he's still big....then she and I will need to have a chat about what that means. Basically, if I get that far, she will most likely want to induce, and my chances of having a c-section are pretty good.

From day one I have known one thing: I absolutely, positively do not want a c-section. I want to go through the experience of giving birth. I want to be alert and present and feel like I'm doing what my body is meant to do. I do not want to have surgery, and then have to recover from surgery for the first few weeks of his life. For a million reasons, I want to avoid that at all costs. And now I'm feeling like that option is slipping away.

So that's where I'm at tonight. Trying oh-so-hard not to freak out and worry, but at the same time trying to brace myself and prepare myself that things might not go according to my plan. For someone who likes to plan every aspect of things and loves to be in control...let's just say this isn't easy. So, if you could be so kind, send some positive, baby-delivering vibes my way.

And thanks for letting me vent. You guys are the best.

34 Weeks

Oh my. I don't even know what to say anymore. We are so insanely close to welcoming little Baby A into this world. Less than six weeks people! And that's if I go full term! Who else is freaking out? Just me?

The 34th week was a good one, I must say. I had a wonderful baby shower, my friends came to visit, and I'm pretty sure the fact that Arsen is traveling now makes me appreciate the time I spend with him a bit more than normal. I'm still feeling pretty rough the majority of the time but I think the realization of how close I am to the finish line is helping. I definitely have my "woe is me" moments whenever I wear out after an hour of being active or when every inch of my body seems to be aching, but really....this is a pretty incredible experience. I'll take the aches and pains and annoying mood swings for the chance to carry a little tiny human inside me any day. 

Due Date

Still saying May 1st

This Week Baby A...
is almost 5 pounds! That's a full grown baby people! His fat layers are filling him out, which will help regulate his body temp when he makes his arrival. His central nervous system and lungs are continuing to develop, and if he were to make his arrival even this early he would most likely be a-ok! 

I'm developing the dreaded pregnancy insomnia I've read so much about. It takes forever for me to wind down at night, and I toss and turn until the minute I finally get up. I've just got so much on my mind, and it's impossible to get comfy, so sleep has just become something I'm experiencing less and less of these days. People keep saying I'm being prepped for what's to come...fun stuff. I've also been having some crazy intense sciatic nerve pain, super swollen feet, and shortness of breathe. 
Weight Gain
In the past two weeks I've only gained two pounds...woohoo! That's pretty freaking good in my book. Depending on the scale (mom's vs. doc's) I've either gained 28 total or 30 total. I'm gonna go with 28 :)

Sweet Baby Boy
Food Cravings/Aversions
Ugh, food. I'm so not hungry, pretty much ever. Probably because my stomach is approximately two inches large these days so the minute I take a few bites I start feeling full. I have to make myself eat dinner most nights because I'm just not hungry for anything. But I have definitely still been drinking my fluids. Best thing pregnancy has done for my body probably is keep me more hydrated than I've ever been in my life. 

Lots and lots of stuff going on in there still, and man, some of it is becoming not so comfortable. But when I think about the fact that I'm carrying around an approximately five pound, 18 inch long baby inside the stomach of a 5'2" frame, it makes sense. Of course he's going to be constantly knocking into bladder, ribs, sides, and everything else he can...he's got no room! Still so fun to feel his little feet slide up and down my right side, or see his little booty pop out right to the left of my belly button. Not so fun is when he headbutts me right in the bladder. Which he does several times a day. Almost takes my breathe away sometimes!
Covered that in my symptoms....sleep (or good sleep that is) is a thing of the past I'm afraid.
Daddy's Thoughts
Well, he's out of town at the moment so I can't ask like I normally do, but I can tell you that we have a conversation almost daily about how crazy it is that we will be parents in a few short weeks. We also have been a little more in love with each other lately (during the whole pregnancy really), and I think it's just because we know we are doing something so crazy amazing together....plus I've been having to rely on him more than normal, which probably brings us a little closer. I think overall Daddy is a pretty happy camper these days. 

Fun Moments
My baby shower! So, so fun. Seeing friends, getting so many sweet gifts...and then washing all his little clothes and blankets and putting things away. This week it all has seemed very, very real all of the sudden, and I've loved every minute. 

Looking Forward To... 
My last sonogram this upcoming Thursday. My 32 week one was supposed to be the last, but since he was so big then and I'm still measuring big she wants to take a look at him and see how we're doing. I'm wondering if he's still big what that will mean. But I can't wait to see his cute little face again! Also looking forward to the shower Arsen's sister is throwing for me! All of the Armenian ladies that are friends of his family are so sweet and have all been so welcoming and wonderful to me since I've known them. I can't wait to celebrate with them! And of course, the biggest thing of all that I think I can officially start including as something I'm looking forward to....meeting our little man! Less than six weeks to go!

Celebrating Our Little Guy

As you could tell from my post on Friday, I was super excited for my baby shower this last weekend. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. I can't say enough about what an amazing shower my friends put together. Sweetest friends ever!

Aside from a near meltdown the evening before regarding my outfit, everything was practically perfect. The weekend before it was in the seventies and gorgeous outside so I assumed spring had sprung and I planned a cute outfit for that type of weather....and then it did a 180 and we were dealing with cold, rainy grossness. Since none of my shoes fit me anymore because of my swollen feet it was a bit of a challenge to find something that worked. But I got it done!

The shower was at my friend Sarah's gorgeous new home and the girls decorated it beautifully! So many sweet friends of mine were there, along with a few of the ladies from mine and Arsen's families. Our little Baby A got so many great gifts...and I feel like a real mommy putting them all in their place in his room now. So crazy!

So I'm going to apologize in advance for the massive picture overload you're about to witness. I want to capture it all and remember every bit of it, so just bear with me. And a HUGE thank you to my girls Rachel, Katie, Alyssa, Jillian and Sarah, and my wonderful mom. I had an amazing time and loved every minute of it!

A Fun Weekend Ahead

Good morning friends! I woke up without an alarm this lovely (rainy, gloomy) Friday morning around 8 AM because I decided to take the day off and prepare myself for the upcoming weekend. Tomorrow is my baby shower!!! And I am so excited! I can't wait to see friends and family and celebrate our little man...who will be here in 6 weeks or less! Ahhh!

 Late last night as I was plotting out my next couple of days and all that I need to get done before the shower tomorrow afternoon I realized that it was basically humanly impossible to get all of that done in a couple of hours tonight and a few beforehand on Saturday morning. So I emailed my boss and said so sorry for the late notice but I need a personal day! She said no worries take care of your stuff (because she's awesome and thoughtful) and now I have plenty of time to get everything done. Relief!

So I'm going to make myself a cup of hot chocolate, cook myself some blinchiki, (#1 pregnancy obsession) and go run all my errands. Then this afternoon we are going in for a little check up with my doc to see how Baby A is coming along. This evening two of my bestest girls will arrive and we'll all go out for dinner, and then tomorrow morning I get to wake up, maybe get a mani/pedi, and then head off to see everyone at my shower. Can't wait!

 I feel like I'm experiencing pregnancy euphoria this morning or something...amazing what a day off work can do for you. Also, it could be the fact that I'm officially 6 weeks or less from the end of this amazing little journey, and so so SO close to meeting my little guy! OR, it could be because my love returned from his business trip last night. Waking up to him this morning didn't hurt either. All is right in the world today people....let's hope those pregnancy hormones don't bring me crashing down anytime soon :) Have a wonderful weekend!

A Photo Shoot

Since pretty much the day I got pregnant I've known I wanted to have maternity photos done. Arsen wasn't near as pumped about it, but he's pretty good at humoring me so he said okay. I didn't really know where to begin looking for photographers, so I reached out to the amazing lady who did our engagement, wedding and my bridal photos to see if she had a recommendation. Luckily for us, she said she's been doing maternity photos for her former brides. I was SO excited since I knew it would be more fun and comfortable with someone we knew.

I originally set the photos for the end of March since I would be around 34 weeks and I read somewhere that was a good time in pregnancy to have them done....what I didn't realize is how huge that would make me. Who says that's a good time to do them, seriously? Who wants to be that huge in their photos? Anyhow, when I got to mid February and was gaining pretty rapidly I messaged Laura and said can we pretty please move them up?? So she found a free day the first week of March and we booked that.

And then Arsen got his new position at work and we found out he would be traveling that day. Sigh. So we had to scramble and find the only weekday that he would be in town and she would be available. I'm blessed with a very sweet husband who realized this was starting to stress me out, so he took over coordinating everything and found a day that worked for all of us.

So one Friday morning almost two weeks ago we met up in a little park area in the middle of Richardson, Texas, and got some really gorgeous photos. Laura is a fabulous photographer, and if anyone is in the DFW area and in need of wedding, engagement, bridals, etc., be sure to check out the website for Fairy Tale Photography.

32 Weeks

Well, my photo this week pretty much expresses how I've been feeling. Exhausted and big. I had just gotten home from a four hour long baby shower...yes, you read that right. It wasn't mine, it was for an Armenian girl who is expecting the day before me (I've mentioned her here before). It was a lovely shower, but four hours is a lot for a preggo to sit through. So by the time I got home I was done for the day. But it was pretty much my last shot at capturing 32 weeks on camera, so I had to do it. Also, I choose to believe that my black cardigan is making me look much larger than I actually am because it's showing no gap between my arm and back...and no, I'm not obsessing about my weight gain, what would make you think that? 

So 32 weeks down....8 or less to go! Ohmygoodlord I can't believe I'm SO close! Here's what's been going on in our world the past couple of weeks. 

Due Date
May 1, 2013...but maybe a little sooner!

This Week Baby A...
is growing, growing, growing....he's over 4 pounds and around 17 inches! I can feel him moving like crazy in there pretty much all the time. He's gaining about a half a pound a week at this point, and man can I tell! He has toenails, fingernails and hair. His skin is plumping up and becoming smooth in preparation for birth. He's almost done cooking!

Definitely sleepy and wear out easily....it's super frustrating. Other than that the main thing I'm dealing with is constantly feeling achey. Feet, legs, hips, belly, neck, back, hands...it all hurts all the time. Which leads to not-so-great sleep, which leads to more sleepiness. But oh well! I'm getting so excited that he's almost here that it's beyond worth it at this point.
Weight Gain
About 26 pounds. Not terrible. I'm not sure how I keep gaining so much because I feel like I barely eat...could be the fact that I rarely move these days. 

I've had a couple of dreams that he's born, and he ends up being a girl, so when we went in for our 32 week sonogram on Friday I told her I needed to be SUPER sure that he's a boy...and he is! We are good to go :)
Food Cravings/Aversions
Cherry Limeades from Sonic, Iced Chai Tea Latte's with Vanilla from Starbucks, Thai Iced Tea....still on my drink kick. I also discovered some smoked brisket enchiladas from a Mexican restaurant right by the house that were phenomenal...I can see that being a bit of a problem. 

Goodness...I don't even know how to explain what he's doing. At the moment it feels like he's trying to turn a full somersault and just doesn't have the space...it's actually almost painful. But most of the time it's just a lot of fun to feel all his little kicks and jabs. If he hasn't moved in awhile I can give him a little jiggle and he'll respond by giving me a big kick. So fun.
Not the best...not the best.
Daddy's Thoughts
He feels like we're getting super close...and getting more excited every day. He's been so helpful lately and so tolerant of all my excessive needs. He even sat through an 8 hour prepared childbirth class with me on Saturday and didn't complain for a second. He actually said he's glad he went because he learned a lot. Such a good daddy! 

Fun Moments
Our 32 week sonogram was fun! We learned a lot....like the fact that his head is measuring a week and a half farther along than what I actually am, as well as his belly. He's a big boy...which was totally unexpected! I thought we would have a tiny little baby based on how big Arsen and I are. Nope! My doc also said that she'll be surprised if I make it to my due date, which makes me excited! I really want him to be an April baby for some reason...and of course I would love for this pregnancy to wind down a little early if at all possible :)

Looking Forward To... 
My baby shower in a couple of weeks! I can't wait to get together with everyone and celebrate our little man. Then a couple of weeks after that I think Arsen's sister is throwing me another shower, so we get twice the celebrating. And then....I'll only be a couple of weeks away from meeting this little guy! 

A Trip Back "Home"

I started this post almost a week ago...and I still have little motivation to finish it. When I'm at work I have all these grand plans to come home and knock out several posts. And then I get here....and I want to lay. Just lay and rest. But I took a fun little trip a couple weekends ago that I want to remember, so I'm gonna power through.

A couple Saturday's ago Arsen and I ventured to Tulsa for a mini-reunion/mini-baby shower with friends of mine from high school. I didn't really know what to expect going in and I was almost a little nervous about seeing so many girls that I hadn't talked to in years. But it ended up being a really fun time with so many sweet girls that I've missed.

I was lucky enough to have a lot of great friends in high school. We had kind of a random group of girls that hung out together, and it was hilarious to see that no one has changed all that much. I went to a tiny school where I graduated with something like 56 (or maybe it was 65) people, so I guess that's why so many of us that didn't have much in common became close. Our group included girls who liked to drink and party, girls who were super into church and never would consider having a sip of alcohol or doing anything "bad", girls who lived with their boyfriends, and girls like me who were somewhere in the middle. There were girls who were loud and crazy, and girls who were quieter and more reserved. But somehow we all came together into this big group of probably 10-15 girls who hung out together every day.

I really enjoyed high school...at least the friend side of things...and I'm so glad those girls and I have stayed in contact. Almost everyone has at least one kid by now, so I got a LOT of mommy advice. I learned so much about what to expect after baby...things I hadn't actually heard before (and some things that slightly traumatized me), and I really thought I had heard it all. We met up at a Mexican place in Tulsa and sat around and chatted about everything in the world for about three hours. I wish we all lived closer because I could really use a good group of girlfriends to reminisce with about "old times" every once in awhile. I also got several sweet gifts, which I appreciated so much.

It was a super quick trip, but I'm glad we went....even though that four hour drive took a lot out of me. And all I did was sit there! Unbelievable the things that exhaust a pregnant woman.

Life is Funny

This past week was....something. I'm not really sure what. Parts of it were amazing, parts of it were so super tough, and other parts were just kind of...nothing special.

On Thursday I worked from home and just had a really tough day. I feel like the days I decide to work here usually somehow end up being the most stressful. There was some minor catastrophe that resulted in email after email coming in and things that weren't easily resolved while not in the office. I got overwhelmed and frustrated (thanks preggo hormones) and by the time my lunch break rolled around I decided I just needed to go take a shower and cry it out. So I did.

When I got out of the shower I was feeling a bit better. I checked my phone to see what time it was and I had a couple of messages from Arsen. And they were interesting. They were informing me that he was most likely being put on a new project, which is wonderful news. He works on a type of contract basis, so he's been in between projects. Still technically working, but he definitely feels more secure when he's on an actual project. What wasn't so great was the fact that the message also said this particular project will require travel. Starting this Sunday.

I text him and asked him to please call me, and when he did that was basically all he knew. Travel would be required four days a week, every week for at least the first three weeks. And then after that it would be a little more sporadic. Normally this would suck because I love my husband and am a big baby and want him to be with me all the time. Right now this goes beyond sucking because I am 8 months pregnant as of next Wednesday and slightly terrified that I might go in to labor while he is a three hour plane ride away. When we got off the phone I lost it. Bawled my eyes out for probably a solid 20 minutes.

Today we found out he will in fact be on that project, which I should mention is an amazing career opportunity for him that will most likely propel him into some great things in the future. Like I said, some of this week was great. But I also now have the huge fear of him being gone when Baby A decides to make his grand entrance. Aren is constantly reminding me that everything happens for a reason and that it will all work out for the best, and I believe him...but that doesn't make the crappy parts any easier to deal with.

I realize a lot of women have husbands who travel, and who miss the birth of their babies....I mean, look at military wives. I don't know how they do it. But in my mind Arsen and I have been in on this thing 100% together. He hasn't missed a single doctor's appointment, and I have known the minute I go into labor he will be the calm steady voice telling me everything will be okay and that I can do this, and sharing in every amazing, terrifying, incredible moment of the entire experience. When I think about the possibility of him missing out on that and me having to do it by myself...I seriously go into panic mode. I know my mom is here and his mom is nearby and they would both be there to help me, but we all know that's not the same. In that moment I know I'll want my best friend, the guy who makes me feel safe and like all is right in the world, who can calm me down like no one else and make me laugh in tense situations.

So I'm crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, wishing on stars...basically anything I can do to make the universe say okay, he'll be there. I know this is a huge blessing for our family and it's going to make our lives so much easier and so much better....so I'm trying to embrace the good and forget the bad. Not always easy, but oh so necessary.