Gavin's Birth Story - Part One

Two months after giving birth to sweet Gavin and I still haven't even attempted to write his birth story. Honestly, it was the most incredible experience of my life, but it was also the most exhausting by far, and the thought of writing it all out has seemed incredibly daunting. Plus, I've got the whole toddler plus infant equals absolutely zero free time to sit down and write thing going on, so.

But apparently today is the day, now is the time, and I'm going to give it my best to remember every detail. I'm assuming much like Grayson's birth story that this will be insanely long and only interesting to myself and....well, anyone who likes super long birth stories, maybe. I'm also assuming that this will take several attempts to finish, so hopefully it will be done before his first birthday ;)

So I suppose we will start at the very beginning. Throughout this pregnancy I knew I wanted to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I didn't have a traumatic c-section, but I HATED the experience, didn't want it to happen at all, and have been bitter and angry about it ever since because it was completely and totally unnecessary. So I researched, found one of the few doctors in this area who will do a VBAC, met with him, discovered why is is the legend in the DFW area that he is, and decided to go for it. From the first time I met with Dr. Cummings, I felt completely and totally confident that I could get my VBAC. He was honest about the risks but had no hesitation in saying that he truly believed I could do it. Even the husband felt totally comfortable going forward with the VBAC plan after that first meeting, and he'd had some reservations.

So when 41 weeks rolled around and I was still super pregnant with no signs of baby making his appearance, I started to panic. I google and research everything, and every indication was showing that women who go into labor on their own are more likely to successfully VBAC. Also, after 42 weeks risks of stillbirth rise significantly, so Dr. Cummings isn't comfortable going past that, and honestly I wasn't comfortable going past 41. So I had an appointment on Friday the 23rd, when I 40 weeks + 6 days pregnant, and had my membranes stripped. Dr. C said if it were going to work, I should be in labor by Saturday night/Sunday morning. After the longest weekend of my life, which included lots of walking, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil capsules, spicy food, and so on and so on, I finally started having contractions on Sunday morning around 7 AM. At first I had no idea what was going on, it just felt like I was having horrendous menstrual cramps that never let up. After about an hour of the constant pain, it went away. Then throughout the rest of that day I had painful but not too bad contractions, sporadically, ranging anywhere from 10 minutes apart to close to an hour at some points. So even though I knew nothing was really happening, I was hopeful that we were on our way.

On Monday morning, the 26th, I woke up to get ready for an appointment with Dr. Cummings. He had told me on Friday that if I were still pregnant Monday that we would need to monitor baby and make sure things were still looking good, then talk about next steps. His office is about 45 minutes to an hour from home, and at about 7 AM on our way there I started having regular contractions. These were about 8 to 10 minutes apart, but they were consistent and more painful than the day before. At his office we ran some tests on the baby, had an ultrasound to check fluids, and talked about induction. I would be 42 weeks on Saturday (Halloween), and I knew I didn't want to get that far. He said he could admit me and induce that day, or we could do Friday. I knew I didn't want to be induced right then because I was still hopeful things would happen on their own, especially since I was having contractions, but I didn't want to wait until practically 42 weeks. So we decided if nothing had happened by Wednesday at 7 PM I would come in for an induction. Which made me panic, but I knew would be for the best if we got that far.

Throughout all of this I stayed in close contact with my doula, and she was giving me suggestions and telling me what her experiences had been like with other women in similar positions. She was super encouraging and informative, and after going through the entire long, drawn out process, I can say she was worth every penny. Even the husband agrees, which is really saying something. At this point her suggestion was to continue on with what I had been trying to induce naturally, but to try and relax a bit to see if that would allow my body to do what it needed to do. For the rest of the day Monday I had regular contractions, but they never got any closer together than about six minutes, and then they would slow back down to around 10. It was insanely frustrating and I couldn't believe how long it was taking. It was also incredibly painful, which was exhausting. I kept thinking that at any minute things would really take off, but they just never did.

By about 8 PM after I had put Grayson to bed I was feeling really discouraged and frustrated. A went to bed around 10, as did my mom, because everyone wanted to rest up in case we had to go to the hospital. Everyone, including my doula, suggested that I go to bed and try and relax, but of course I couldn't do that. So I decided to try and work him out in the most aggressive way I could think of. I didn't have a birthing ball, but I sat on the ottoman in the living room, legs spread as far as I could, and bounced and rocked and did everything I could think of to try and get him to moooove down while I watched some TV and tried to take my mind off of things. And finally, finally, I started having super intense, close (er) contractions. I did this for, oh, maybe two hours? I think I lost track of time. But I completely exhausted myself and decided ok, that's all I can do. I went and laid down, fully expecting my contractions to slow way down like they had the night before, but they didn't. I told A what was going on, and he started freaking out just a little bit. After a couple of hours of me monitoring things and realizing they were pretty steady at about 5 to 6 minutes apart, he decided we should just go ahead and go to the hospital since we were close to an hour away. Since I didn't go into labor naturally last time, we had no idea what to expect. I think he thought the baby was just going to come flying out of me once things got real and he wanted to be overly cautious. Oh, how very, very wrong he ended up being.
Right before we left for the hospital
We got to the hospital around 3 AM, and they sent me somewhere other than L&D for monitoring. I was checked by the on call doc, and I was dilated to a two. This was incredibly annoying, because I had been at a two that morning when Dr. Cummings checked me. I could NOT believe no progress had been made. The nurse told me that the doctor wanted me to go walk the sky bridge for an hour and then she would check me again. There is a massive sky bridge connecting the women's center to the rest of the hospital that is a quarter mile long if you walk there and back, and I had heard many stories of women trying to walk their babies out on that thing. So I shuffled over there, put in my headphones, and started walking while A tried to nap in the most uncomfortable chair I'd ever seen. Since I may be a bit stubborn and am nothing if not determined, I decided I would surpass the hour they asked me to walk and kept going for almost two hours. At this point my contractions were about three minutes apart, and I had to stop and cling on to the wall for dear life when they would hit they hurt so bad. Luckily, at 4 AM there was literally no one in that bridge other than me, so no one was witnessing this little production I had going on.
Poor Hubs had it so rough.
Sky Bridge selfie
This doesn't do it justice.
I wanted to capture the massiveness of my belly from my POV. Still doesn't capture it. 

About 5 AM I went back to be checked again, and I just knew that after all that walking something had to have happened. SURELY. So she came in, checked me, and said something along the lines of "Nope. No progress." and walked out. Needless to say, I did not love this on call doc. The amazing nurse that was in there came in to talk to me and explain things and basically said they wouldn't admit me since I wasn't showing any progress, but the doctor had prescribed me an ambien so I could go home and sleep. She was so encouraging and sweet, and knew I was going for a VBAC, and she said "I'll be back tonight at 6 PM and I expect to see you in here, and I know you're going to get that VBAC! I'll see you tonight! Get some rest, girl, you're exhausted!". At this point I was actually crying I was so frustrated, which is really saying something because I'm not a big crier. I was actually more along the lines of silently sobbing and trying not to have a massive meltdown in a public place, but whatever. So I popped the ambien and we headed home.

Not long after we left we started talking and decided to just get a hotel so we would be closer to the hospital. My contractions were still close and super strong, so we knew something had to happen soon. This all was happening maybe 10-20 minutes after I took the ambien, and it is seriously all a blur. I had never taken an ambien before, and OMG. Y'all. I literally started hallucinating. I decided I wanted Starbucks, so we went through the drive through. At this point it's about 7 AM, I've been in labor with regular contractions for about 24 hours with zero sleep, and I am actually seeing things. The strange thing is I remember most of it. I remember leaning over to A and saying "Oh my Lord. Do you see that?" While pointing at the wall of the Starbucks drive thru. Of course he saw nothing. I was like "No. OK. I know I'm not actually seeing this, I know I'm not. But do you see those gremlins? They're RIGHT THERE. I mean, I know they aren't there, but I SEE THEM. They are crawling on that wall." I also thought the carpet in our hotel was coming at me, trying to get me or something. He actually had to pretty much carry me (all 41 + weeks pregnant of me) into the hotel I was so out of it. We got in the room and I'm pretty sure I basically faceplanted (or whatever a pregnant version of a faceplant is with all that belly in the way) and passed out.

After I woke up four hours later, I was still having intense contractions that were somewhat close together, I'm thinking around 5-6 minutes apart at this point. Since we were still in town and we knew the baby was going to come...eventually...we were hoping....we decided to call and see if we could get in to see my doctor. Honestly, this part is really a blur. I think the ambien hadn't totally worn off, plus only four hours of sleep didn't do much for me. From what I recall we went to see Dr. Cummings right after the lunch hour, and he did another check. I was at an "easy three" he said, and since the contractions were close he said he was going to go ahead and admit me. This was probably around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I asked if we could go get some food since I knew I wouldn't be able to eat once I'd been admitted (live and learn since I was starving the entire time I was having Grayson), and he said sure but to get to the hospital as quick as I could. Like I said, all a blur, but we went through the Panera drive through, ate in the parking lot of the hospital, and eventually checked in around 4 or 5.

Since we are now more than 34 hours into this birth story, I think I'll consider this "part one". The next part is the exciting part anyway, so we'll save it for when I have the time to really get it right :) If you've hung with me through this much of it, hooray! I'll be back soon, I hope, to finish things up and share all about my (spoiler alert!) amaaaaazing VBAC experience. Yes, it really happened!

Happy One Month My Love!

I can't believe we're already celebrating one month of life for sweet Gavin! Technically we were celebrating over a week ago on the 28th, but finding time to write this hasn't been easy. This first month having two kiddos has been something else. In some ways it has really been a natural transition, and in others it has definitely been a challenge. I would say the hardest part has been umm...time management? I'm having a hard time getting much of anything done these days. But the best and easiest part has been soaking up all the newborn goodness combined with having two adorable tiny humans to love on. Even though I am super exhausted almost all the time, it really is the most amazing experience I've ever had.

I've discovered it's not going to be quite as easy to accomplish anything this time around. Crazy toddler plus newborn adds up to not much down time. But I do want to attempt to continue on with my monthly letters like I did for Grayson. Plus it will be super fun (for me at least) to have the two to compare every month. It's already kind of hilarious to read my one month post for Grayson and look at the photos and see how very different the two of them are.
Sweet Gavin,

Oh my, you are such a blessing and a true delight of a snuggly little newborn. Since the day you made your arrival (a week and a half late, mind you), you have been nothing but sweetness. You entered this world with the tiniest little cries, and immediately settled into my chest as happy as could be. Even though this transition from one to two hasn't been completely easy, you are what I would consider the definition of an "easy" baby. And for that, I say thank you

Things with you are so very different than they were with your brother. Not only because you are our second and we kind of have an idea of what we're doing this time, and not only because now we compare everything with how things were with Grayson, but also because you could not be more different from your brother if you tried. Where he was loud and passionate, you are calm and laid back. You have to build up to a good fuss, where he let us know thesecond he was upset. I'm really wondering if this is insight into your future personality, because Grayson is still to this day very much a passionate child, but in the very best ways. It will be so interesting to see if you are just a chill, relaxed little boy when who you really are starts to emerge. 

You've started giving me a few smiles here and there - well, if we're being honest, I'm writing this almost two weeks late and at this point you pretty much smile anytime I make eye contact and smile at you. But at one month, I'd only gotten a few smiles out of you. Every single time you do it I'm quite sure my heart is going to literally burst with love. You have the best little smile - you smile with your whole face, all the way up to your sweet little eyes. You're also starting to recognize all "your people". You always react when you hear mommy, and now your head turns for Daddy's voice, and the past few days you've really started watching Grayson closely. Today he was watching you lay in your pack and play and talking to you and you smiled at him really good a few times and I honestly didn't think I could take the sweetness of it. It's the first glimpse of a real relationship I've seen between the two of you and oh my goodness it made my mama heart feel allllllll the feels. 

I can totally see what people say when they say second children just kind of have to go with the flow. You are out and about waaaay more than Grayson was at this point, doing preschool drop offs and pick ups, going to toddler birthday parties, going shopping with Mommy, and so on. But you are a real trooper, and we have yet to have any actual issues with you. I wear you sometimes in my little wrap, and you just snuggle right in and go to sleep. If we keep you in your car seat, you will kind of doze on and off and only get upset if you're hungry. 

Pretty much the rule for you is you are happy as can be unless you are hungry, have a wet diaper, have a tummy ache, or have the dreaded hiccups. I don't think anything makes you more mad than hiccups. Which is unfortunate, because you have them several times a day.  But even your cry is adorable. You pout out your bottom lip and it actually sounds like you are saying "ooh-waaaah! oooh-waaaah!". It sounds like you are fake crying, it's so darn cute. You barely cried at all the first maybe three weeks of your life, but you're getting more vocal about what you don't like the older you get. You actually like to be laid down occasionally, and will lay on your little play mat happily for several minutes. Tummy time doesn't bother you at all, so we do that pretty often. Although I have to supervise closely - your brother is so insanely excited about you that he can be a little bit aggressive. 

You were sleeping in your pack and play every night because the little bed part kept you somewhat elevated, and since you were so congested for so long we felt better about having you in there. Now I've got you in your little Halo basinet right beside me, and you are doing so good! You sleep in there until usually around 5 or 6 in the morning when you get restless and won't go back to sleep unless I put you in bed beside me. You're sleeping really well at night once you finally go to sleep (thank you!) and will give me a good three or four hour stretch, wake up to eat, sleep another one and a half to two hours, eat again, and then usually sleep another hour or so until Grayson decides that it's time for everyone to be up :) So while I'm not getting much sleep, I'm getting more than I expected with a newborn! 

Overall, you are just absolutely, positively delightful. I mean it. You are just the sweetest little baby and I can't get enough. I will be honest, I was slightly worried that I would feel differently about my second child, even though I knew I would love you - I think this is something every parent out there worries about. But the second they placed you on my chest I knew I was head over heels for you, and it has only gotten stronger every single day that I've known you. You are the complete opposite of your brother, but I think that's what makes you both so very special to me. I adore you more than you will ever know. I give you one million kisses every day and just can't get enough of your snuggles. You are the absolute sweetest baby in the world, and I'm so incredibly glad that you're mine. I love you baby boy! 

He's Here!!!

After 41 1/2 weeks of pregnancy and over two full days of labor, our baby boy finally decided to make his arrival into this world! Sweet little Gavin Arsen was born on October 28th at 11:34 AM,  8 pounds 7 ounces and 20 inches long.
Since I'm almost three weeks late posting this, I've gotten to know this little bundle of sweetness pretty well, and it is safe to say he is a complete JOY! We all know I wouldn't trade my love Grayson for anything in the entire world, but he was not an easy baby. At all. Like, can't even explain how not easy he was. This one? He eats, he sleeps, he poops, and he has long stretches of awake time where he is just as happy as he can possibly be. He doesn't really fuss or cry at all, unless he has a diaper that needs to be changed or is hungry, and even then he just has the sweetest little whimper you've ever heard, that he will immediately stop the second his needs have been met.
The first couple of weeks he had his nights and days confused, like I suppose most newborns do, so mama wasn't getting much sleep. He would sleep for an hour or two, wake up to eat....and then just stay awake. From like two until five or so, or was crazy. I was tired. But I mean, at least he was happy while he was awake! Also, Grayson got sick when Gavin was three DAYS old, and we had to keep them completely and totally separated, which was not easy. At all. I cried and cried because I couldn't take care of Grayson, which was awful. And then....Gavin caught a little touch of what Grayson had. Which was TERRIFYING. We had to take them both to the children's hospital for chest x-rays when Gavin was a week old. A newborn should never, ever get sick, it is so so scary! But, thankfully, Grayson is totally better now and Gavin is just a little congested, which the doctor said tends to last for a long time in newborns since they have no way of clearing themselves out.

Other than that craziness, things have been pretty amazing! Seriously, Gavin is just the best, sweetest little baby in the world, and Grayson really does love him so much. We've had a few growing pains with Grayson adjusting, but honestly it hasn't been bad at all. He adores the baby, he's just been acting out here and there, I'm assuming for attention, even though he's still smothered with it.

Gavin has been the best addition to our family, and I feel so incredibly blessed to have him here. My boys (all three of them, daddy included) are just the cutest things ever, and seeing the three of them together makes my heart want to burst into a million pieces. The snuggly newborn phase is so, so amazing, and it's crazy how fast he's growing already!

I plan on coming back soon (ish) to share my birth story, which is a complete 180 from my experience with Grayson and was one of the most intense, most painful, most amazing, most WORTH IT experiences of my entire life. Can't wait to share it with everyone!

40 Weeks - For the First Time!

I knew I would make it here, deep down - but I was really kind of hoping he might surprise me and be a few days early. But nope, I am 40 weeks and I'm seeing no signs of anything happening any time soon. I'm really, really hopeful that I'll go into labor on my own here in the next few days, but if nothing else, I'm going in to have my membranes stripped on Friday. Which means he should, fingers crossed, be here within the next week or so. Yayyy!!!!

Since I never made it this far with Grayson, I don't have a comparison photo or a comparison of what I was experiencing last time. I already had a week old baby at that point! So here we go, on to my first ever 40 week update.
Due Date
October 17th

This Week Baby A...
according to BabyCenter the average newborn weighs about 7 1/2 pounds and is around 20 inches long, but Grayson was bigger than that and was born a week early, so I'm guessing this kid may be a bit larger than that :) He is all ready to go in there, so any time he decides to make his arrival we are good to go! 

Honestly we don't have a whole lot going on over here, unfortunately. I definitely feel like I have a full grown human being inside of me. I'm having some sciatic pain for sure, some cramping and contraction like feelings here and there, and just your basic exhaustion. But honestly, for as pregnant and huge as I am, I feel pretty dang good. 

Weight Gain
At my last appointment I was up 30, which I am perfectly happy with. I only got to 39 weeks last time and gained 34, so even if I jump up to a 34 pound weight gain before he gets here, I still technically did better than last time. So weird how I was basically competing against myself this entire time...

Baby Boy!

Food Cravings/Aversions
Cereal, mainly Frosted Flakes. I randomly needed toast with lots and lots of butter the other day. Some mornings I have to have Cream of Wheat. But really, nothing too crazy. I guess I just don't really do the whole craving thing that intensely. 

Some days he's super duper active, some days he's a little quieter in there. Typically when I'm really busy I don't notice him moving as much and when I'm being lazy he's all over the place. He definitely feels huge - my belly is allllll baby at this point. 

Not terrible, but definitely getting worse. My hips have started hurting some, and it's just getting really difficult to flip from side to side. I generally sleep pretty soundly until around five or six, and then I toss and turn quite a bit until Grayson is up for the day. 

Daddy's Thoughts
I think we are all on the same page around here. On Sunday I asked him if he was getting anxious and he said definitely, but probably not as much as I am. Which is accurate. We've both been really prepping Grayson the last week or so, talking about how the baby will be here to live with us soon, telling him how fun it will be to hold and kiss and snuggle with the baby, what a good big brother he'll be, and so on. I think everyone in this house is ready at this point! 

Fun Moments
We finally got the baby's name hung on his wall, and I bought a few more things to go on the shelves in his room, so we've basically finished the nursery up. Yesterday I got everything else packed and loaded in the car for when it's time to head to the hospital. Basically every single thing baby related is done. Most of what I've been doing is snuggling up with Grayson, trying to soak up every last minute of one on one time with him. I don't know if I'm feeling extra emotional because he's not going to be my one and only soon, or if he's just become extremely adorable and sweet lately, but I have seriously just been enjoying every little thing about him the past couple of weeks. 

Looking Forward To... 
Going into labor! I can't say I'm totally looking forward to the actual process of giving birth, but I am looking forward to going after my VBAC. I really, really hope everything turns out the way I want it to, but I know if I do for some reason end up needed a repeat c-section that I trust my doctor 100% and will know I really truly needed to go that route. But in my mind, I am going to absolutely accomplish what I'm setting out to do. I really, really, really cannot WAIT to meet this crazy little fella that has been dancing around in my tummy for months. So ready to dive back in to newborn life!!!

My Grayson

Since I will be 40 weeks pregnant tomorrow, things are really starting to sink in. Like, the fact that there will be a tiny infant living in our home in the next few days (fingers crossed, I am so very ready to be done with this last few weeks of pregnancy!). And also the fact that Grayson will no longer be my only baby, my only child, my only boy, my only everything. I know I will love and adore this baby boy just as much as my first, but man - it's really kind of freaking me out thinking about sharing the love.

Right now I spend so much time just cuddling with, kissing on, obsessing over Grayson. He and I have such a special bond. I spend more time with him than anyone else, and he really is like my best little friend. He's such a joy to be around (most of the time, ha!) and I so enjoy all of our one-on-one time together. I have heard so, so, so many mamas say that instead of splitting the love it's almost like your heart grows in size, and I fully expect that to be the case. I guess I'm more concerned with splitting the actual time than the love. Love I have an abundance of. Time, not as much.
I think this is why I've been so obsessed with Grayson the past few weeks. I mean, he really is hilarious and smart and full of joy, and he is endlessly entertaining. But he's been that way for awhile now. I think I'm just really soaking it all in, trying to truly see him for the amazing little man that he is before half my attention has to be devoted to a tiny baby. So he and I have been spending a lot of time cuddled up in our big comfy chair, him sitting as close to me as humanly possible, sometimes playing with my hair, sometimes just leaning on my arm. He watches Paw Patrol or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and I play on the iPad, and we just snuggle up. Up until just a few weeks ago I was all about staying active, avoiding screen time as much as possible, and getting out and about whenever we could. But being this pregnant has forced me to slow down, and really, it has been so nice. Taking the time to simply sit with him and giggle about whatever random thing comes up or talk about his day at preschool has been some of my most favorite times with him lately.

So until this baby decides to make his appearance, this is how we will proceed. Excess amounts of cuddling. laughing, kissing, "I love you's", and probably since he's 2 1/2, several tantrums and meltdowns thrown in for good measure. I cannot wait to meet the little one growing inside me, but I will always, always treasure the time I've had, just me and my Grayson.

What Grayson Wore - September

So, one of the great joys of being a parent, at least for me, is picking out someone else's clothing. I used to try to do this for my husband, but he would switch things up or blatantly tell me no at times, so it wasn't near as fun. But with Grayson, at least for now, I can dress him pretty much however I want. Very rarely (knock on wood) does he refuse to wear something. It's awesome.

What's even more awesome, is now that he's going to preschool twice a week, I actually have a reason to dress him in something other than athletic shorts and t-shirts that he can wear to be comfy around the house. I am taking full advantage, and it's so fun. Lord help us all if I ever have a girl...I can only imagine how fun the bows and frills and leggings and little boots are! But luckily (for A's wallet at least), I'm a boy mama for now. But I have fun with it, and I think I've kind of created a bit of a signature Grayson style, if you will ;)

I started on the first day of preschool taking photos of him each morning before we leave the house, and I've kept it up each day so far. I typically text them to A and my mom, and that's the extent of it. But I figured if I'm going to be taking the pics, why not put them to good use. So, I'm thinking this shall be a new "regular" (haha, I know, who are we kidding) blog post around here.

These aren't exactly the highest quality photos, because they're taken on my iPhone, typically as I'm saying, "Hurry up baby, we're about to be late! Hurry! Can you say cheese? No? Come on, cheeeese! Ok, that'll work, let's go!!!". But they get the job done.

First Day!!! 

I have a daily battle with this hair. 
(Old Navy tank top, Old Navy cut offs created from jeans he outgrew, Tom's shoes)

I'm working on a more natural smile with far it's not going so well....
(Old Navy t-shirt, Old Navy shorts, Converse shoes)

Hat Day!!!
(Dallas Mavericks hat, Baby Gap tank, Children's Place shorts, Tom's shoes)

(Tank top from Kohl's, Old Navy shorts, Converse shoes)

38 Weeks with Baby #2

OH, we are so very close now. I'm actually 39 weeks today, so I'm behind on the updates once again. I was induced with Grayson at 38 weeks 6 days, and I had him at 39 weeks exactly, so by tomorrow I will officially be the most pregnant that I have ever been. I'm still feeling way better than I did the first time around, so hopefully that will continue on throughout the remainder of the pregnancy! Although, I'm really hoping that the remainder of the pregnancy is not too long...mama is ready! 

Due Date
October 17th! 

This Week Baby A...
is just getting bigger and bigger. According to Baby Center he's around 6.8 pounds and over 19 1/2 inches long. My doc doesn't do late sonograms, so we literally have no idea if he's measuring big or small...we haven't seen him since around 20 weeks! He apparently has a firm grasp and his organs have matured and are all ready for life on the outside. So come on out little man!

Definitely feeling a little more pregnant these days. I've started swelling, hips are a little sore, back hurts sometimes. The main thing that's been bugging me is the fact that he has dropped, and his head is pushing down HARD. And often. And it huuuurts. I also was quite convinced I was having contractions last week, but turned out to be a bit of false labor. I had a massage about a week and a half ago and the lady did accupressure or whatever it's called the entire time and basically almost killed me. That's when he dropped, and I was in intense pain for the next few days. It's been better the past few days, but there are certainly still moments when it feels like he's trying to break out of there! 

Weight Gain
At the appointment Wednesday I was up 29 - still better than last time! I was up 33 at 38 weeks last time, and gained 34 total. I'm hoping I can hover around 30 total this time, that would be fab. But I have been eating so horribly the past week or so, I may blow past that if he stays in there too much longer. 

Sweet Little Baby Boy

Food Cravings/Aversions
Tonight we went out for my birthday dinner and I decided pizza was what I had to have - I would say pizza is probably the number one food craving I get, I usually have it about once a week. Other than that it's all sweets. All sugar, all the time please!!!

He is still nutso. He's moving less frequently, but OMG when he does move he is caraaaazzy! He feels so huge. And he is seriously constantly head butting me in the cervix, which isn't the most pleasant thing ever. I still think it's amazing and wonderful and exciting every time he moves, but sometimes I'm like daaaang kid, take it down a notch! 

Pretty good, I must say. I wake up around midnight and again around 3 - 3:30 to pee almost every night, and then after the second wake up I'm up for a little while, usually browsing around on Facebook or Instagram until I fall back asleep about 30 minutes later. Other than that, I sleep through the night :) 

Daddy's Thoughts
We've had a lot of "I can't wait for him to be here and to see how Grayson reacts" conversations over the last couple of weeks. It's so different this time, because we don't have as much of that fear of the unknown when it comes to what to do with an actual real, living baby, but more excited anticipation about becoming a family of four. He's been so insanely busy at work the last few months that I think he forgets I'm pregnant sometimes, but I can tell the reality is starting to set in for him. 

Fun Moments
Well, the main thing that has been driving me CRAZY for the last several months has finally been crossed off the to do list - baby boy has a name! I am so insanely relieved. Hubs is serious about not telling until his arrival, but I will say it's kind of funny because this baby will be named one of the names that I wanted so bad for Grayson and that A didn't like. This time around, he was obsessed with this name and I was kind of like, eh, I'm over it. It was my favorite boys name for years and years, and I had others this time that I wanted more. But we finally came to an agreement on it, and I think we both feel pretty good about it :) THANK THE LORD!

Looking Forward To... 
His arrival! This last part is so, so hard, just the anticipation of when is it going to happen? We are basically ready, aside from a few small things that I need to finish up, so I'm just ready for him to get here now. I believe I will let myself go until about 41 weeks before doing any type of induction, and at that point we would do stripping membranes versus inducing with pitocin or any real medical interventions. Soooo....he should be here in about two weeks, at the very latest. Fingers crossed he decides to come on his own before then, though. We are all so ready to welcome him into our little family! 

36 Weeks With Baby #2

One month baby!!! Give or take :) I'm really, really starting to hope he comes at least relatively close to his due date. I'm still feeling really good, but man am I tired! I need my energy back to deal with the crazy toddler in my house, and I don't think that's gonna happen until I pop this baby out. So if I could avoid going much past my due date that would be FAB. 

Due Date
October 17, 2015

This Week Baby A...
is over 6 pounds! Most of his systems are ready to go, although digestion doesn't technically start until his first meal on the outside. Most of his bones and cartilage are still soft to allow for an easier delivery. He's pretty much the real deal now, basically a full grown baby! 

Umm, I'm tired. So tired. I honestly have a hard time staying awake a lot of times during the day. Other than that not too much going on. This kid is crazy, so the movements can be uncomfortable from time to time. His head (I'm guessing) feels like it's right in my pelvis, so the pressure is kind of intense. But OMG when I compare to what I was dealing with last time, this is NOTHING. 

Weight Gain
I'm up 27 according to the doctor's scales, which I will happily take. At this point last time I was up 31, so I'm definitely doing better this time. But I think it was the swelling last time that made such a can really tell in the pics this week how much more swollen I was last time around! 

Little Man :)

Food Cravings/Aversions
I have been baking like crazy, so eating lots of sweet baked stuff. I'm getting full super easy these days, so not eating too terribly much at all. Drinking lots and lots of water, which is good. 

He's still insane. Like, this kid is so crazy I can't get over it. According to my update with G from 36 weeks he had calmed down a lot, but not this one. I'm seriously getting nervous about his energy levels when he arrives...should be interesting! 

Sleep is still pretty good for the most part. I'm tossing and turning a little bit more, but I typically get a good three or four hour stretch in before I wake up to flip around and visit the bathroom. I'm a little more restless from that point on, but seriously, not too bad. 

Daddy's Thoughts
He's feeling anxious to find out about what he'll look like, what his personality will be like, and how Grayson will treat the baby. He's also excited to have two boys - this is basically a direct quote, I actually just asked him :) 

Fun Moments
Nothing too terribly exciting going on around here these days. We went to Oklahoma over the weekend for a quick day trip and got to see several family members. I did make my to-do list today, and it is loooong. I feel like we've got most everything done but I JUST realized how very wrong I in two weeks there should be more activity in this "fun moments" paragraph. 

Looking Forward To... 
Umm, his arrival? I've been having super realistic dreams about him lately, and I just can't wait to hold him in my arms and kiss his little cheeks! I think because he feels so HUGE in my belly it's making him seem so "real". Can't wait until he's here! 

34 Weeks With Baby #2

Six weeks until my due date!!! Which means I should have a little bebe boy in my arms in the next two months, at the longest. I'm getting so excited to meet this guy, and I cannot wait until Grayson becomes a big brother. 

We got some not so great news at my appointment at 32 weeks. Baby boy was breech, which could really mess with my plans for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My doctor didn't seem to be too concerned, and he will deliver a breech baby vaginally, which most doctors won't even attempt. He's kind of a rockstar OBGYN, which is why I'm driving almost an hour to see him and deliver with him. However, I really, really didn't want to complicate things, so I immediately started doing everything in my power to flip the baby. I started seeing a chiropractor three times a week, and also doing Spinning Babies stuff at home. I seriously spent two weeks doing everything I possibly could to get him head down, and at my 34 week appointment we found out it worked!! Somehow he flipped and is now head down! So we are (hopefully) good to go!!!

Due Date
October 17, 2015

This Week Baby A...
is almost 5 pounds! His fat layers are filling him out, which will help regulate his body temp when he makes his arrival. His central nervous system and lungs are continuing to develop, and if he were to make his arrival even this early he would most likely be good to go! He feeeels like a full grown baby in there these days, let me tell ya. 

Well, I made it until just about 34 weeks this go around before I started feeling super pregnant. I think I can officially say the pregnancy symptoms have kicked in - not that I'm complaining, it's been great so far! A few days this week I've had semi-swollen feet, some back pain, feeling tired for sure, and my joints are swelling, which means I officially had to quit wearing my wedding ring most days...booooo. 

Weight Gain
I kind of panicked because I weighed on my mom's scales one night and it showed that I was up 27 pounds, which was like a four to five pound gain in two weeks - but at my doctor's appointment it showed that I'm only up 24 total, so that was a relief! 

Sweet Baby Boy- at least I sure hope so! I've had a couple dreams that it ends up being a surprise girl, but if I remember correctly I had the same dreams with G. 

Food Cravings/Aversions
Still not craving anything, but I have been super hungry this past week, which is strange compared to the last time at this point. Mexican food has been sounding pretty good, which it hasn't up until this point, so things seem to be changing a bit. Hopefully the appetite dies down a little so I don't gain a ton this last 6-8 weeks! 

This kid is a mover. I figured out that the reason he was in my bladder constantly is because he was breech, so his feet were literally constantly kicking me in the bladder. Now that he's flipped head down it's not as terrible, but he's still super low and I occasionally get some serious head butts going on down there. But OMG there is so much activity going on in there, and he's so big now, I feel like he may actually break out of there before too long. He's crazy! 

Still not terrible. I'm having a tiny bit of hip pain some nights, so I toss and turn more. But other than that it's not bad. I really only have to get up once to pee most nights, and I'm still falling asleep pretty easily. Can't complain! 

Daddy's Thoughts
We have a lot of talk going on about what this baby will look like, act like, etc. It's such a different experience doing it a second time around, because now we're just comparing everything to Grayson instead of having no idea what's going on. We have agreed we hope he sleeps better and cries MUCH less than G did, but hope that he's got his silly personality :)

Fun Moments
Not a whole lot of excitement lately. We're pretty much ready for him to make his arrival at this point, so there's not a lot of planning or shopping or anything too crazy fun. I did buy Grayson and the baby their first matching PJ pants, which is pretty freaking adorable if you ask me. I probably won't do much matching stuff, but PJs seem like something you almost have to do. 

Looking Forward To... 
Umm, my DUE DATE. I know there are no guarantees, and I know he will probably be late since I'm not going to be inducing or anything this time around, but still....I'm super ready for October 17th to be here! 

32 Weeks With Baby #2

Two months to go!!! It sounds so very far away, ESPECIALLY because it is approximately one billion degrees in Texas right now. I mean really, it is just the worst. The second I open the door to step foot outside I am immediately dripping in sweat. I have my air conditioner down so low that everyone else is constantly wrapped in blankets. Pregnancy and a Texas summer do not mix. Noted for baby #3 ;) 

Aside from the horrendous heat, things have been going great! Even though I am definitely feeling pregnant these days, I am still doing much better than I was my first time around. And even though I feel as good as one can expect during pregnancy, and I seriously do love it so much, I am super anxious for this little guy to get here. Fingers crossed he arrives on time and doesn't decide to hang out in there for an extra two weeks or anything crazy. 
Due Date
October 17, 2015

This Week Baby A...
is getting big! He's over 4 pounds and around 17 inches, and gaining about half a pound a week. He has toenails, fingernails and hair. And trust me, I can FEEL how big he, all the time ;) 

The main issue I'm having is still the whole extra tired thing, which is progressively getting worse. I've had a little sciatica pain off and on, usually after I've been pretty active. Indigestion occasionally, especially after anything remotely spicy. And my stomach literally feels like it's stretching to the point it hurts sometimes, usually toward the end of the day. I would think it wouldn't hurt so much this time since it's already done this! 

Weight Gain
I believe 22 pounds, if my mom's scales are correct. I go to the doctor Friday so I'll know for sure. 

Little baby boy :)
Food Cravings/Aversions
Hmm. The main thing I've been having a problem with is SUGAR. I want it all the time, and have to remind myself that pumping myself full of the stuff day in and day out probably isn't great for the growing human inside of me. That's really about it. Actual food, couldn't really care less what I eat. 

This kid is nuts. There is almost constantly something hard sticking out, directly to the left of my belly button. It feels big, so I'm wondering if it's his little booty. I get jabs to the right side pretty frequently, which is where I always felt Grayson. And this one is RIGHT in my bladder. Like, inside it. I'm always gasping because I feel like he's either headbutting or jabbing me with a fist down there. I love all the movement, but it's way more intense than it was with G! 

Still good to go in this area (thank you baby Jesus, please please please let it stay this way!)

Daddy's Thoughts
Umm. The only thing we are discussing these days is the fact that he will arrive incredibly soon, and that we cannot agree on a name. AT ALL. Poor, poor little unnamed baby. We seriously couldn't be further from agreeing on something. Other than that, not sure how he's feeling because the name is ALL I TALK ABOUT. 

Fun Moments
My baby sprinkle this past weekend! It was seriously so much fun, and I loved getting together with all my friends to celebrate this little man! Everyone was so sweet and I felt so spoiled, and I loved every minute of it. And since it will be my only shower, I went shopping the next day to finish up getting the last of what we needed. We're pretty much good to go! Now I've just got to get everything all organized and in it's place and we'll be ready to have this baby! (I mean, we need the name, too. That's kind of important)

Looking Forward To... 
Now all I'm thinking about is all the nesting I have to do. Nesting is seriously such a thing. I've been going nuts cleaning things out, organizing, re-organizing, turning my house upside down, and finding the perfect place for everything. I'm also excited because we decided to get a doula and we should be meeting with her in the next month or so to discuss my birth plan and all that it entails. And I mean, naming the kid....looking forward to that happening eventually (not that I'm obsessing or anything)

Naming a Baby = Pure Torture

So, the last time time around when A and I went through this whole baby naming fiasco, I wrote this post. Seems like the usual worry over picking a good name and trying to agree with the partner thing that most people face when naming a baby, I'm sure. This time? Well, this time the husband and I are locked into a battle of the wills that I'm not sure will ever end. Like, I'm afraid we may literally never name this baby. Ever.

I will admit, we can both be a bit stubborn. And we neither one like to back down or give into what the other wants. (These all sound like great qualities for life partners, amiright?) I knew it wouldn't be easy, because naming Grayson was actually more difficult than I let on in that post from above. He was originally going to be Cash, and then after a month or so of saying that was his name, A decided that it didn't "feel" like his son's name. So we threw around several names, but eventually landed on Grayson probably around the time I entered the third trimester.

This time....well, it's not been so easy. Like, not at all. We literally don't have one single name that we can agree on. He has one that he's set on, that I like but don't love, I have another that I really love, but he's only okay with, and then I have one that I am IN LOVE with, and he has said absolutely not, no way. But I CAN'T LET IT GO. I can't. It's the name. I love it. In my head, that's my baby's name. Grayson calls him by that name. Everyone I tell it to is like "Oh! I love that!". It's unique, it's super uncommon, and I LOVE IT. And he says 100% no way, no how.

So now you see why I can't give in to the name that he apparently loves and I'm alright with. Which, by the way, was one of my top picks for Grayson and he was like "eh, I don't really like it". Now, suddenly, he thinks it's the greatest name ever and I'm so over it. How can you possibly name a human with someone so infuriating?!? How do people DO THIS?? Why is it SO MUCH HARDER this time????

I'm really just at that point in the pregnancy where I am super incredibly agitated and annoyed by everyone and everything, so this situation is really starting to get bad. Does anyone out there have advice? Should I find a subtle way to brainwash him? Should I try to figure out a way to bribe him? Do I give in to the okay name that I don't love? Pregnancy hormones are making this feel like such a HUGE thing.

I need help. And your prayers. And any and all good vibes. Please and thanks.

Grayson Says...

"Mommy, what's DAT noise?!?" - he says this all the time, for the quietest little noises. The air conditioner coming on, music, the phone ringing, a car driving by...basically anything he hears.

"Oooh, Gaygan burp!" or "Ooooh, Gaygan toot!" - he definitely feels the need to announce his bodily functions to us.

"Ooh, what's DAT smell?" This is said with a scrunched up nose and lots of sniffing.

"Mmm, Mommy, what is dat favor?" Favor = flavor. He asks me this after almost anything he tastes. He started doing it after we introduced dum dum suckers for potty training, and now he asks it about everything he eats.
"Scuz me Gaygan!!!" - This is said after burping. I love that he thinks he has to say his name. I'm assuming because I've said "Say excuse me Grayson!" many times :)

"No, Gaygan do dat, all by self!!!" - He is nothing if not independent, and he wants to do it allllll by himself.

"Make me happy!" - The first time he said this was when we were strolling through Target. He was eating popcorn and we were just chatting about nothing, whatever we happened to see and toddler talk. He ate a big handful of popcorn and then said "Make me happy!" I said, "The popcorn makes you happy? Good!" and he said "No!" Then he leaned forward and put his hand on my chest and said "Mommy make me happy".  And then I almost cried and I bought him a new toy because it was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard in my ENTIRE LIFE.

"Gaygan go poop get a guuuucker!" - We're potty training and he gets one m&m for peeing and a little dum dum sucker for pooping. He gets so excited every time he even thinks about pooping and he says this while practically dancing around.
"Est-eh-day" - I wish you could hear this one, it's my favorite word he says right now. It's his version of "yesterday", and it's freaking adorable. He's always saying "Gaygan watched dat car movie est-eh-day" or "Gaygan go to the beach and go swim est-eh-day!" Basically, anything that has happened in the past happened yesterday.

"Wanna go to Omahoma see Papaw and Addie!" Almost every day when I ask him what he wants to do that day, this is what he says.

"Oooh, dat kiger eyes! Look at dose kiger eyes!" This morning after we woke up we were laying in bed and he started talking about tiger eyes and pointing to these two round gold mirrors we have on our bedroom wall. He would say "kiger eyes go like dis" and then make a serious face and squinch his eyes up. I kept telling him they were mirrors and he refused to believe me.
"No. No. No." This is when he's trying to tell me something and I don't understand. Yesterday he kept telling the husband and I that he wanted to go to the zoo, but it sounded like a cross between shoe and too. We kept saying "You want your shoe?" "You wanna go too?" and he would look so serious and just shake his head and say "No. No." so calmly. He does it all the time now, and it's so funny how long it can go on without him getting frustrated.

I seriously need to start doing this every single night, because this kid cracks me up all day every day. He's talking SO much now, and carrying on conversations like it's nothing. So much of what he says is hilarious and I think I'll never forget, then I sit down to type it up and I can't remember! He's also become MUCH easier to get along with lately, and I think it's because he's so good at expressing himself and telling us exactly what he needs. So far, the "terrible twos" have been the easiest stage of his life! (fingers crossed, knock on wood, whatever else you do to NOT jinx yourself)