All The Pretty

I've really been doing some soul searching lately about what I want to do with this little blog of mine. I was ready to call it quits there for awhile - and basically did. I've come back here and there, and was mostly maintaining it as a baby book for my kids. Riveting stuff for everyone else, I know. But after feeling super encouraged to continue on with the whole writing thing lately, I knew it was time to try and do this thing again. I absolutely love writing, but I've just always struggled with exactly what I wanted to do with this space.

I've struggled for a couple of different reasons. For one, I've always felt like I need to choose a niche, decide what my "thing" is, and stick with it. But I don't have a thing. I'm all over the place. I'm serious, I'm funny, I'm heartfelt, I'm stressed, I'm just about everything under the sun. As I'm sure most of you reading are as well. So deciding to make this a "mom blog" or a "home decor blog" or whatever else it might be never felt like a good solution for me. I need the freedom to blog about whatever I'm feeling right at the moment. 

Another, and probably the number one most major, reason that I struggle is because of ALL THE PRETTY. Alllllll the pretty in the blogging/Instagram/Pinterest online world. One of the amazing speakers at Hope Spoken touched on this, and I totally connected with every single thing she said. Sure, I love to blog. But my blog will never be so very very pretty. I'm not a photographer, so I'll never have the beautiful photos. I'm not a model, so I'll never LOOK effortlessly beautiful in photos. I'm no real fashionista, so taking outfit shots and posting them feels ridiculous. There are so many things that I'm NOT. Bloggers seem to have the most amazing lives, and while yes, my life is pretty dang amazing most of the time, it is also so very REAL. There is so much that is not very pretty, and I am just not good at hiding my realness.

So even though I'm not a big comparison person, and I don't feel jealous or long for the things these other bloggers have, I still felt inadequate when it came to my own personal blog. I just couldn't imagine that anyone would come back to a blog lacking all the beautiful things.

But, in this new path that I'm walking in to the world of all the God things, I'm just having so many little revelations along the way. When it comes to my blog, I think the key is in my realness. In my opening up and letting people see what is behind any pretty facade that you may see. Sharing my trials and my frustrations and the lessons that I'm learning and the struggles that I'm going through.

I mean, sometimes it's just so nice to know that you aren't alone. Sometimes it's so nice to hear that yeah, my kid drives me nuts too, just like yours. Yeah, my husband and I get annoyed with each other if we go too long without a date night away from the babies. Yes, my house is a complete and utter embarrassment of a mess at least once a week. And I don't think that I should have to hide those things in order to gain more blog readers or Instagram followers. I mean, I totally understand why people follow all of the oh so beautiful blogs. I do it. I do it and it inspires me and I find so many gorgeous things I want to do and try and buy and whatnot. But I also love it when I read a post that just hits me right in the gut and I'm like YES I totally feel you. So I think my blog may be less of the oh man that's just so fabulous and more of the oh girl I so get you.

So who knows. We shall see what comes of this new agenda of mine. Stuff's about to get real up in here people. Don't get too excited, because I don't have any dirty little secrets or anything, but I do live a very real life with two very small people and one very male husband, so trust me - it's not as glamorous as one might think.

I hope at least some inspiration can be found. I hope at least this might become a place where a mom or a wife or just a woman in general could come to commiserate or to find some hope or encouragement. I want this space to be comfortable, to be welcoming. I want the people who stumble in here to feel like they've found a cozy spot to hang out for a bit. Honestly, I want it to feel like I hope my home feels to my friends. Come curl up on my metaphorical sofa and let's just chat about life. Hopes, dreams, frustrations - all of it. Nothing's off limits here. So if you're in to that kind of thing, stick around and let's see where this goes.

"So, What's Your Blog About?"

Anytime people find out that I have a blog, however it happens to randomly make it's way into conversation, this is naturally their first question. And my response is usually something along the lines of "Well, it's kind of just about my life. Like, just whatever is going on, really. I mean, I guess it's kind of a mommy blog more than anything else right now, but I like to write humorous stuff, sometimes about home decor or crafty stuff...yeah, so I don't really know?"

By that point they're just kind of staring at me blankly with a vague smile, nodding like, why did I ask? But honestly, I don't know what my blog is about. It's about whatever I want it to be that day. Some days I'm feeling really sappy and I want to write about how much I love my son and my husband and my dog and my home and blah blah blah. Sometimes I want to write about something funny that happened. Sometimes I want to write about books I've read, or experiences I've had, or my adventures in trying to decorate my home. I'm all over the place. And I kind of think that's fine.

This obviously isn't a money making blog. This is just a place for me to pour out my heart. I'm not a super emotional girl for the most part, but I've learned that I need this outlet. Sharing my thoughts and worries and dreams with however many readers around the world that I happen to have may seem odd to some, but for me it's what works. I think it's my form of therapy. That I share with whoever's listening. You're welcome.

So I'm not sure what my answer should be when I'm asked that question. I should probably work out a quick, easy answer, but for now I guess I'll just keep mumbling whatever happens to fall out of my mouth and hope for the best. My blog is a representation of who I am at my core, and that person just happens to be all over the place, with a zillion interests, a zillion dreams for life, and the hope that I can do it all. And do it well. I think that's what this blog is. I hope that works. 

Overwhelmed, Lucky, and Happy To Be Here

I can't believe that summer is almost over. All the neighborhood kids are going back to school next week, the pool hours are about to get a lot shorter, and soon the temps in the 100+ range will be a distant memory. The older I get, the faster time seems to pass. Everyone always warned me this would happen, but sometimes I really can't believe how quickly it seems to go.

Now that I have Grayson I'm constantly trying to capture the moments and tuck them away into some little space in my brain so that I can always remember. Even the mundane, every day moments are so special that I hope I never forget them. It's why when I'm having a frustrating day with so many tantrums and missed naps and oh my I'm just so tired why won't you sleep?!?! that I try to stop myself and remind myself that someday he won't be so little. And someday he won't want me to hold him and play with him and shower him with attention 24/7. And someday he won't need me to rock him to sleep or to come in and rock him back to sleep an hour later.

I think in everything that goes on in life it's easy to just let it slide by and not really stop and appreciate how special every moment is. Laughing in the living room when A picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder, or tackles me on the ground and he and Grayson "tickle me", or when we do a crazy dance to try and make Grayson laugh...they're just tiny little 30 second moments in my day that pass in a flash and I easily forget about. So much of every day is full of laundry and picking up toys and cleaning up the high chair and wiping down the kitchen counters yet again, and trying to share my love and affection with a baby who demands it, a sadly neglected dog, and a husband who needs me. It's overwhelming and monotonous and can be stressful. But these beautiful, hilarious, sweet little moments every day add up to make one amazing life.

I'm at a point in life where I'm overwhelmed. I think if there were a word to sum up my life at this stage, that would be it. I'm trying to figure out balance. And it's tough. I'm trying to figure out how to be the best mama I can possibly be, while still being a good mama to my first little baby, Miss Addie Jane. And really, the hubs and I are practically still newlyweds. It will be three years next month. I'm definitely still trying (and failing miserably a lot) to figure out how to be a fantastic wife. I've got my freelance job that really only requires around 10-15 hours a week, but when I try to fit that in to a day full of everything else, I just feel...overwhelmed. I crave a routine that makes sense, that makes things easier, but apparently this time in my life just isn't meant for routine.

I still have so many things that I want to do. So desperately. I've always felt like I have some "calling" in my life, some big purpose. I think right now it's to be mama...but I know that I can't just be that. There's something inside of me that needs more. I want to touch lives. I want to save animals. I want to create beautiful things. I want to be healthy and fit and dear Lord how do moms find time to work out? I mean, really...how do you ladies do it all? I have one tiny child and I feel like every single day is just runningrunningrunning trying to get it all done before I collapse into bed at night, exhausted. Thank the good Lord above my child is a good sleeper, because the nights that he isn't I am a beast to deal with the next day. I need that time to recharge so I can get up and do it all again.

And I miss this space. I miss getting on here and just purging and spilling out all of my feelings and emotions. It's the thing that I think was the best for me from time to time, and now it's the thing that I have put on the very back burner and rarely even consider doing. I get so very little "me" time, and when I do I just kind of sit here and zone out. Or binge watch episodes of Vampire Diaries.

More than anything, I just feel so blessed. I know this probably seems like maybe a bit of a complaining post, but it's not. That's not what it is at all. Being overwhelmed and busy and pulled in so many directions and having so many people who want and need my affection is amazing. It's wonderful. It's the best thing ever. I'm struggling to figure out how to handle it all, but oh my goodness I'm so glad that this is what I get to handle. I was telling A the other day that every once in awhile I get smacked in the face with this crazy guilt, because I am so super freaking lucky to have the life that I do, and I didn't do anything to get it, really. I got lucky to be born into the family that I was, to have the security and opportunity and material things. I got lucky to meet him and to fall in love and to get married, and for him to end up being this crazy determined, hard-working, successful man (if you would have known him in college, you would see what I gamble I took ;) Ha, kidding babe). And I mean, I really hit the jackpot in the adorable, hilarious, sweet child department. My life is good. And I'm thankful.

So. I think I needed this. My random, unplanned, word-vomit of the month. If you're still here and still reading, bless you. And thank you.

A Whole Lot of Deliciousness {Texas Burrito Company Launch}

Last Thursday the husband** and I got the chance for a night out - minus little baby - in Dallas. Not only were we out on a real, live "date", but this date just so happened to involve lots of amazing food, beer, and ice cream. Now, I'll be honest with you, I've tried to get the hubs to attend several "blogger" functions with me over the past couple of years. And I always get a "Mmmm....nah thanks." But this time I mentioned that the event involved food trucks and free beer, and wouldn't ya know, suddenly he was more than willing to go! Funny how that works ;)

The event we were both excited to attend was the launch of Texas Burrito Company, the fourth food truck in the Two Trucks family. Not only did we get the chance to try out the amazing food (totally not exaggerating, it was delish), but we also got to sip on a couple of beers and enjoy a massive scoop of ice cream from their What's Da Scoop truck. I mean, Mexican food and ice cream? That might just be my idea of heaven.

We each got two tacos, and whew! They were spicy. Thankfully we had that ice cold beer to wash them down with. I tried the Hanger 9 and the Tejas, and A. had the Hanger 9 and Southfork (see the menu here and start drooling). They were all absolutely delicious, the ingredients were all super fresh, and my mouth is watering a little bit thinking about it. We rarely go to Dallas - that 30 minute drive is a killer, ya know - but I would do it for these tacos.

You're probably well aware of my obsession with Mexican food, so needless to say it would have been hard to disappoint me. Also, the ice cream was amazing. I got a "Cool, Calm and Collected", which was vanilla ice cream with dulce de leche, sea salt and crushed up nilla wafers, and it was so good. Might have to track that truck down again, too.

It was a super fun night, and I ended up running in to Sarah again, which was hilarious and unexpected. We hung out with her and her friend Desirae for quite awhile, and the husband really loved all the girl talk, I'm quite sure ;)

Anytime we get a night out without Grayson I always have a little bit of mommy-guilt going on, but I was actually able to relax and have a really good time (those beers may have helped), and I think stuff like this is so needed in a marriage once a little one is involved! Am I right or am I right?

Well, Happy Friday my friends....I hope you have a good one, and I hope I am able to return on the reg before too long. I miss you guys!

** So my husband has decided that he would like me to refrain from using his name on the blog from here on out. Since we have a super unique last name and his first name is pretty rare also (as is mine) when you Google his name everything that pops up is related to my blog. I think that's fab, but unfortunately he doesn't like the fact that all of the people in his work-world can find out literally everything about him in two seconds. SOOOO....no more using his name. 

Now, my dilemma: what do I call him? The husband, hubs, hubby....that's all going to get old real quick. I thought about the Armenian, but I felt that was slightly inappropriate? I'd like to use something consistently, but I'm just not that creative...so it's probably going to be A.

Also, I think the damage is probably done here....I'm not going back to the last couple hundred blog posts and deleting his name. But if this gives him peace of mind, then I'm all for it ;)

These Are a Few of My Favorite Blogs- Part 1

One of my favorite things about blogging is discovering new blogs to follow and getting to know my fellow bloggers. I've "met" several ladies over the past couple of years who I just love, and I know if we had the chance to meet in "real life" we would be amazing friends. Since I love keeping up with the lives of these ladies, I thought I would share them with you so you can follow along as well. I had to break this up into at least two posts, because there are so many great blogs out there written by just the sweetest women. I just couldn't narrow it down! Seriously, if you're looking for some fun new blogs to follow, these girls are great!

Kristin at Mama & Mou

  

I adore Kristin. She's hilarious, she has the CUTEST little girl, and she is just as obsessed with Britney Spears as I am....maybe even more so, which is impressive. I mean, what's not to love?? She recently switched things up over at her blog, and now she has a full-on mama blog with SO much helpful info for new mamas and mamas-to-be. She has always been insanely supportive of my little bloggy, and I heart her for it!

Ariel at Dreams to Do

I seriously feel like Ariel and I are kindred spirits or something. She's one of those people who will post something and the entire time I'm reading it I'm nodding my head thinking "Yes, exactly! That's exactly how I feel!". We're both big dreamers (hence her blog name) who always seem to be searching for our purpose, and now that we're both mamas (I've been following her foooorever), we have even more in common! She has been super encouraging to me on so many issues, and she seems to always give me great advice when I need it. Soul-sister, I'm tellin' ya!

Ruthie at The Chronicles of Ruthie Hart

Ruthie is one of those rare "bigger bloggers" who is super down to earth, crazy sweet, and just all around wonderful. I started sponsoring her maybe two years ago, right before she was on House Hunters (have you seen it? She's adorable!), and since that time we've consistently kept in touch. She had a precious little guy of her own just a few months after Grayson was born, and it's been so fun to watch little Ford grow up. She's such a sweetheart!!

Sarah at Tucker Up

Even though I've followed Sarah for a long time now, she and I recently have become really good bloggy friends because we are in basically the exact same situation. She and her hubs are selling (actually just sold!) their house, and are house hunting like we are. Even though that immediately would give two people a lot to chat about, the best thing about it is we live within about 15 minutes of each other! And we're both looking to move to the same area! I had no idea how close we were, and we actually randomly ran into each other at lunch the other day! Now we have decided coffee dates must happen :)

Bridget at Life as Bridget Knows It

Bridget is just one of the sweetest bloggers around, and I love chatting with her about our little ones! She also had a baby boy just a couple of months after Grayson, and little Turner is just the cutest! I love, love, love having all of these mama friends who are going through the EXACT same things at the same time - so nice to know you aren't alone in all of it! She's also super inspiring: she's a fabulous mama, works full-time (like, insane hours), and makes AND accomplishes all kinds of crazy goals for herself. You'll love her :)

I hope you guys go visit any of these ladies that you don't already follow! You won't regret it, promise ;)

Let's Get Real

I've noticed in the blogging world that for the most part, everyone's lives seem pretty freaking fabulous. I'm sure that from an outsiders perspective, mine seems pretty great as well. And it is. But come on...it can't be all rainbows and butterflies all the time for everyone. It certainly isn't in my life.

But I get it. Who wants to blog about the negative side of things? Who wants to blog about the piles of laundry, the stress at work, the fights with the husband....all the unglamorous parts of every day life? I don't. I don't want people to know that things aren't always perfect.

But there is no way that things can be perfect every single day for anyone. That's just not how life goes. And I think it can be incredibly unhealthy to compare yourself to all the other seemingly perfect lives out there in this great big blogging universe. I don't struggle with comparison like I used to, but it still comes up every now and then.

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When Facebook first came around, I was living in California. All by myself. I was following my dreams, but I certainly wasn't "living the dream". It was tough. I've talked about it before in this post. I would look at all the Facebook updates of everyone back in Oklahoma, living the college life, going out with friends, having what looked like the best time of their lives, and I would get so depressed. I felt like everyone was so happy and I was so alone and sad....it was so, so unhealthy.

Now that I'm older, wiser, and in a much better place in my life, I don't struggle with that. As much. But when I do, it's not with Facebook now....now, it's with bloggers. Some bloggers seem to have the best marriages. It seems like they are so madly, deeply in love that they never have stupid fights over what to make for dinner, or who should have replaced the trash can liner. And some of them, their homes are just so beautiful. And organized. And clean. And some of them are just so incredibly crafty. And they have adorable little shops where they sell the crafty things they make.

And every once in awhile, if I'm having a down day, or maybe am feeling a little more...ahem....moody than usual, it gets to me. I can feel that urge to compare creeping up on me, and I have to make a conscious decision to fight it. And to remind myself...there's no way it's all perfection, all the time.

I saw this quote on Pinterest once, months ago, and it really stuck with me: "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlights reel". That is SO TRUE. Of course everyone is only posting about the best things in life! Why wouldn't you? But sitting on the other side of things, it's so easy to assume that that's just their every day. Beautiful, happy life, 24/7.

Please know, I am blissfully happy in my life....most of the time. I adore my husband, he is my best friend, and we have a wonderful relationship....most of the time. And I love my house, and I love keeping it nice and clean and pretty and organized....most of the time. So if you're ever sitting here reading my blog, and you're thinking something along the lines of Good Lord, this girl brags an awful lot about her hottie husband and her cute little dog and how great things are...remember this. Remember this post. And remember that most likely, every other blogger out there, big and small, is showing you their highlights reel. And feel better.

My Kind of Weekend

I must say, this has been a pretty great weekend. You know I'm a bit of a homebody, and I definitely got some good lounge-on-the-couch time in. I also got had a few unexpected surprises. And I sure do love a good surprise.

On Friday night Arsen and I spent a delightful evening laying around watching TV (Lost). I know, you're probably sick of hearing that we're watching Lost. Don't worry, we're on Season 5. It's almost over. And it is blowing. my. mind. Anyhow, I had done a spray tan earlier that day, so I was all nasty and sticky, and we were just lounging around in our sweats, relaxing. About 10 or so I got a text from one of my best friends Amelia, saying "I'm Engaged!!!!". I was of course super excited for her, because she is an absolute sweetheart and deserves all the happiness in the world, and told her we needed to meet up asap so I could hear all the details. Little did I know that at the same time her brand new fiance was texting Arsen, asking if we could meet up for celebratory drinks. We decided of course we could go, although Arsen was slightly embarrassed to be seen with me since my sticky tan makes me look like Snookie before I shower. It ended up being a really fun night, and I'm so glad we got to celebrate with them.

She's Engaged!!!

Saturday was a lot of running errands and being productive. We washed my car, got Arsen's oil changed, got Addie food, treats, a new bed, and heartworm medicine...basically a lot of boring stuff, but I enjoy stuff like that because it makes me feel productive. After we got home I attempted to take a nap (Addie did not want me napping, apparently), and then we just layed around and enjoyed the evening. Love it.

 Enjoying her new bed :)

This morning I got a text from another one of my best friends, Katie, asking what we were doing. She and her husband were randomly in Dallas and wanted to have breakfast. I found it to be very strange that she was here and I didn't know, but come to find out they had been in Florida this weekend. They were flying home standby, and the earliest flight they could get from Dallas to Tulsa was after 11 pm tonight. So they got a rental car and were driving the rest of the way home. So it was a nice little surprise to get to see them for a bit.

And then this afternoon, I met up with Jennifer from Our Love and Our Blessing for my very first blog date! I was honestly a little nervous, because what a random way to meet someone...but it was SO much fun! She is just an absolute sweetheart and we had such a great time. We had a fun little lunch, and then did a bit of shopping. We actually ended up buying the exact same skirt....and then we realized we had on the exact same shade of nail polish. So funny. I'm so happy that we went through with it! It's so funny meeting someone for the first time and realizing you already know so much about them. Isn't this little world of blogging so interesting?

 Yay for new friends!

So really, this was my kind of weekend. I feel like I can jump into a new week feeling refreshed. Although the thought of that alarm going off at 6 am makes me want to cry...but what are ya gonna do? Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Come Visit Me!

Hey friends! Today you can find me over at Our Love and Our Blessing. Jen is the sweetest thing ever, and she was kind enough to ask me to guest post while she's taking the week off. I would love it if you'd come check out my post, and definitely take a few moments to browse around Jen's blog! You will NOT be disappointed!

I'll be back this evening/early tomorrow, depending on how much energy I have after work, (I'm going on very little sleep today thanks to my darling Addie dog) with a "real" post about my fabulous weekend. I know, you can't wait.

But for real though, be sure to go visit Jen. She was nice enough to have me, I'd love it if you guys could show her some love!

What's a post without a picture of Addie? Worthless, that's what it is.

Happy Birthday Baby Blog!

I completely flaked on the first birthday of my blog. I'm a horrible blog mother. But in reality, I haven't really been blogging for a year. Obviously I wrote my first post a little over a year ago, but for the year of 2011 I wrote 5 posts. Total. So yeah, I'm not sure how serious I can be about a one year blog birthday celebration.

When I started this little bloggy last year it was to keep my family and friends in the loop, and to give myself a bit of a creative outlet. I've always loved writing, and I actually had a blog in college for a teensy tiny bit. I took that one as seriously as I took this here blog for the first 9 months or so that I had it. I've only been blogging on a regular basis since April of this year, and now that I've gotten into the swing of things, I'm hooked!

So Happy Birthday little blog! I think we shall have a real celebration next April since that's when I really introduced you to the world.

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