Today is my birthday. My 32nd birthday, to be exact. Birthdays are funny. The older I get, the more insignificant they become. It's still nice to have a special day, of course, and it's so lovely to be flooded with texts and calls and Facebook messages from people telling me Happy Birthday all day long - who wouldn't want that?
But I realized something this morning. After I dropped Grayson off at preschool I went to Starbucks to work for a bit. On my drive home, I was praying (as I often do when I'm alone in the car) and I realized that although I of course have so many things I ask God for on a regular basis, more than anything I just wanted to thank him. Over and over again. Because I am wonderfully, abundantly, absurdly blessed.
Of course, life isn't perfect. Nothing ever is, no matter what it may look like through an Instagram filter. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of laundry and feeding kids and cleaning messes and scrubbing floors and folding clothes and wiping noses and changing diapers and disciplining and feeding them again and power struggles and alllll the noise and bedtime routines - it can just be so routine, so mundane, so overwhelming. It's easy to live this life as a mama to little kids and as a wife to a husband who works constantly and just feel a little stuck.
But then. Then I look out the window of my car and see the gorgeous trees and the beautiful homes and the sunshine, and I think - I live in such a truly beautiful place. And then I think about my boys - my sweet, crazy, loud, hilarious, mama's boys - I could not possibly love them more if I tried. And I think about my husband. My husband who drives me crazy and is an insane workaholic, but who truly wants nothing more than to see me happy, who takes me on amazing trips to San Diego and buys me everything I need and supports our family without a single complaint, and I think oh my goodness. I might be the luckiest girl in the world.
I think about the fact that I am getting to chase my dreams, that I have the luxury to do that - how blessed am I? I think about the fact that I live in a safe place, a safe neighborhood, that I don't worry about so many things that so many other people in the world have to worry about. I think about the fact that I have a reliable car, a comfortable home that will always have a fridge full of food, family that loves me, amazing friends. And I think about the fact that God decided I was worthy of all of these things, even when I know I'm not. And I think about the fact that he looked at me in my cushy, comfy life, and he snatched me up and said "It's time." He brought me out of my confused, lost, non-believing but super comfortable life and got right in my face and said "Time to follow me." I didn't do that. No way I would have done that. But He did it. And I am so, so, so beyond grateful. My life has changed, in the most amazing ways, even though it has remained so much the same.
So today, on my birthday, I don't need a single gift. I don't need a single "Happy Birthday." I don't need a special meal or a cake or any recognition. I am exactly where I need to be, I am insanely happy to be here, and I am so incredibly, abundantly blessed.