I have a lot of goals and dreams for my life. Like, a lot a lot. I have so many that I get overwhelmed at the thought of them and need to take a nap. I get so excited, because I'm so passionate about so many things, and I just want to do them all and do them like right NOW and wouldn't it be great if I could (fill in the blank), wouldn't that be so amazing?!?
So I think, and I plot, and I plan, and on an on...and then I end up with a million ideas and plans and exactly nothing to show for it. The husband has told me time and time again that I really need to choose like two things to focus on, and just work on that for awhile. I mean, I've kind of got a lot going on right now anyway, it's not like I've got hours of downtime to do arts and crafts and build my empire.
So I think I've decided that number one, I'm going to focus on being mommy. I mean, obviously, right? But it's not, really. Because "mommy" is a given, it's just the default. I wake up, I'm mommy. I fix breakfast, I change diapers, I clean up messes, I give kisses, I change the laundry, I fix lunch, I color, I go on walks, I count, I say ABCs, and so on and so on. But just going through the motions doesn't get me anywhere. Instead, I want to really focus on being the best mommy I can be. This doesn't mean a perfect mommy, because Lord knows I would fail at that goal daily. But being the best mommy I personally can be. This means working on my patience, and taking the time to get down on the floor and wrestle around and work on puzzles and stack blocks and read books. To give him my undivided attention whenever possible. Because this is what I do. I'm mommy. I don't have a career that I'm focused on at the moment, I don't have a boss that I answer to, and I don't have to devote 40+ hours a week to a job anymore. So I need to take that energy and put it into mommyhood. That may not be right for every mama, but for me I know that's what I need, and want, to do.
Number two, I would really like to focus on getting back into blogging. This might not look like blogging four or five times a week immediately, but it may be a little behind the scenes stuff. Planning, brainstorming, working on the details of what I want this space to be. This is another area that I have so many ideas that my brain just turns into a big jumble of thoughts and then I'm overwhelmed and I've gotten nowhere. So my plan is to dedicate a certain (TBD) amount of time each week to just the thought process of where I want to take this blog. I may sit and think and plot and come up with the answer that I don't really want it to be any more than what it currently is, which is basically an online journal that I very sporadically write in. Or I may want it to be one of the bigger things that I've thought at some point. All I know is I need to put some effort into making that decision. So that's goal number two at the moment.
And for now, that's where my focus will be. Even though I also want to start volunteering, and start sewing and crafting and open an Etsy shop, and work on getting back in fabulous shape, and start flipping houses, and work on the bajillion projects I want to do around the house, and open a boutique, and go back to school to get a degree in a different field, and start an animal rescue, and and and and.....
Like I said. Brain overload over here.
But even though I want to do all of those things, I'm going to take my oh-so-wise husband's advice and pick one. Or two, actually. Number one will never change, or at least not until all my babies are off to school. And then it will just look different, but will still be number one for me I'm quite sure. And then we shall see what else happens. I wish I had the endless time and endless energy to just go go go and do it all now, but I'm trying to embrace this season in my life for what it is. It's busy, and overwhelming, and fun, and precious, and I love it so much. I know in the blink of an eye I'll be in a totally different season, and I'll just wish I had little arms reaching out to me to be held all day long, so I'm taking the time to embrace it. I can have all the goals in the world, and I truly hope that I get to accomplish them all, because I just feel so stupid passionate about every single one of them. But for now, I have to acknowledge my limitations, and be ok with them. And I think I finally am.