It Will All Be Okay...

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind of emotions for me. I had such a great weekend, and then I feel like I got thrown into a week of insanity and stress. Arsen was out of town for work, which always leaves me a little bummed out, and work was absolutely. freaking. crazy. As usual at this point.

I also have suddenly developed the crazy preggo hormones that I couldn't believe I was so lucky to avoid. Everything makes me feel stressed, sad, overwhelmed, hysterical...I've been so mellow throughout this whole thing that this totally caught me off guard. I feel like I'm hiding it well for the most part, but it is definitely getting tough to keep my poker face on.

Addie and I are both so sad when dad is away...

And then we went in for my check up Thursday. Arsen was out of town, and this was the very first appointment he's missed since we found out I was pregnant. I was super sad about that, and even more so when I realized this would be our last sonogram for this pregnancy. Luckily my mom and his mom came with me, so it was nice to have them there. However, the news that I got wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. Nothing bad, but still...enough to rock my world in a big way.

Baby boy is still measuring big, about a week ahead of where I really am. That fact, combined with my petite frame, has my doctor concerned about me going full term. She said we all need to start hoping and praying that he comes on his own in the next two to three weeks. She said IF I'm still pregnant at 39 weeks, we'll do another sonogram. And if he's still big....then she and I will need to have a chat about what that means. Basically, if I get that far, she will most likely want to induce, and my chances of having a c-section are pretty good.

From day one I have known one thing: I absolutely, positively do not want a c-section. I want to go through the experience of giving birth. I want to be alert and present and feel like I'm doing what my body is meant to do. I do not want to have surgery, and then have to recover from surgery for the first few weeks of his life. For a million reasons, I want to avoid that at all costs. And now I'm feeling like that option is slipping away.

So that's where I'm at tonight. Trying oh-so-hard not to freak out and worry, but at the same time trying to brace myself and prepare myself that things might not go according to my plan. For someone who likes to plan every aspect of things and loves to be in control...let's just say this isn't easy. So, if you could be so kind, send some positive, baby-delivering vibes my way.

And thanks for letting me vent. You guys are the best.

5 comments

  1. I have mixed feelings about doctors, due dates, and sonograms to measure baby and this is why. My doc told me with my last baby that I was only 37 weeks when I went into labor which is fine. The whole pregnancy I told him my due date was wrong. The doc who delivered my 8lb 6 oz baby (I am tiny as well) commented this is definitely a full term placenta. Confirming that I was right about my due date :) also I had an ultrasound 1 week before I delivered. They told me he was about 6 lbs. At that stage of pregnancy it can be off by 1 lb each way. So when I had a 8 pounder I was shocked! I guess what I am saying is don't stress about it!

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  2. I can't believe it is almost time for that baby to be born. I remember when you announced you were pregnant. I pray everything works out as it should. Go with your heart. I wish I would have spoken up to my doctor and refused a c-section. I ended up with a unique situation and had the worst c-section experience. Somethings, as you know, can't be helped. I wish you and that sweet baby the best. Anxious to get to see pictures of that little bundle of joy.

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  3. I'm a pretty new follower (from Nadine's blog) and I'm also pregnant. I'm almost 19 weeks along and last week at my check up, the doctor told me I might have to be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy, something I definitely wasn't expecting. My pregnancy so far has been so easy so I never thought it would happen. I'm supposed to travel to Paris for my job in 2 months but that might not be happening... And as disappointed as I am, I will do anything to make sure the baby is healthy. I'll be thinking of you and hope everything goes as you'd like!

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  4. Celeste, please do not let your doctor tell you you have to have a c-section just because your baby is measuring a week bigger. Small women all over the world have big babies with no problem. God designed your body to give birth, and your body will accomodate to whatever size your baby is. I also would encourage you to avoid induction if you can. I did it with my second and it was horrible compared to the first. P.s. Doctors make more money from performing c-sections ;) Good luck, and try not to stress so much about it. There are also natural ways you can induce if you get too worried about it.

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  5. I feel like I'd feel the same way, I know my ideal birthplan would be natural and I would be so bummed to be told otherwise! I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything goes well and at the end of the day, you'll have a beautiful baby boy regardless!

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