I also have suddenly developed the crazy preggo hormones that I couldn't believe I was so lucky to avoid. Everything makes me feel stressed, sad, overwhelmed, hysterical...I've been so mellow throughout this whole thing that this totally caught me off guard. I feel like I'm hiding it well for the most part, but it is definitely getting tough to keep my poker face on.
Addie and I are both so sad when dad is away...
Baby boy is still measuring big, about a week ahead of where I really am. That fact, combined with my petite frame, has my doctor concerned about me going full term. She said we all need to start hoping and praying that he comes on his own in the next two to three weeks. She said IF I'm still pregnant at 39 weeks, we'll do another sonogram. And if he's still big....then she and I will need to have a chat about what that means. Basically, if I get that far, she will most likely want to induce, and my chances of having a c-section are pretty good.
From day one I have known one thing: I absolutely, positively do not want a c-section. I want to go through the experience of giving birth. I want to be alert and present and feel like I'm doing what my body is meant to do. I do not want to have surgery, and then have to recover from surgery for the first few weeks of his life. For a million reasons, I want to avoid that at all costs. And now I'm feeling like that option is slipping away.
So that's where I'm at tonight. Trying oh-so-hard not to freak out and worry, but at the same time trying to brace myself and prepare myself that things might not go according to my plan. For someone who likes to plan every aspect of things and loves to be in control...let's just say this isn't easy. So, if you could be so kind, send some positive, baby-delivering vibes my way.
And thanks for letting me vent. You guys are the best.